[bzlmod] Add check to ensure requested versions match selected versions. (#41244)

[bzlmod] Add check to ensure requested versions match selected versions. (#41244)

Bzlmod uses Minimal Version Selection algorithm for building dependency graph (see https://bazel.build/external/module#version-selection) which can cause resolved version number to be higher than requested versions. This may lead to nuanced bugs and hide behavioral differences between WORKSPACE and MODULE.bazel settings.

This PR does a few things:
* explicitly turn on --check_direct_dependencies=error for bzlmod tests, so version mismatch will now be an error
* Bump versions in MODULE.bazel to fix tests in `tools/bazelify_tests/test/bazel_build_with_bzlmod_linux.sh`.
* update bzl extensions accordingly to minimize the difference between workspace and bzlmod settings.

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Closes #41244

COPYBARA_INTEGRATE_REVIEW=https://github.com/grpc/grpc/pull/41244 from yuanweiz:direct_deps dd43d3007e8c88be1fc59cc895d832e430421d97
PiperOrigin-RevId: 848257936